Anonymous asked: can i c ur nudes
this is kinda old
there’s a news headline generator that mixes words from real news headlines and they are fucking golden
Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason.
But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.
I NEVER CAUGHT THE PARALLEL
NEVER NOTICED YHIS
Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.
When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”
There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her.
"No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”
And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.
(Source: oldresidentdistrict, via shakeyourmanetmaker)